Stacy Thomson with her son Milo

THE “casualness” of online dating can be a frustrating experience at the best of times, but especially for those who are ready to start a family.

That’s according to former mental health NHS nurse Stacy Thomson, who has created a new app, Reddi, specifically for singles looking for something more than mere romance.

The 43-year-old single parent, who worked with Whittington patients and lives in Westbere Road, West Hampstead, said: “There are a whole load of people out there who want to go on a date and also wouldn’t mind if the next person they met was someone they started a family with.

“If you’re not at that stage in life, then you belong somewhere else. Most of our customers don’t want to just go out and get hammered.

“I kept thinking to myself ‘this is so un-fun – but I am so much fun. What is going on?’ I just remember thinking ‘I’m sick of all this stuff, I’m sick of the casualness of it all’.”

She said she realised how some people on dating apps were satisfied with messaging each ­sother rather than actually meeting up, adding: “They build up a connection, they get enough validation from just that. Technically, a lot of people are having a relationship with their phone.”

Ms Thomson said her career helping patients in crisis and with complex psychiatric disorders had been “an enormous privilege” but that she had left the NHS to start her own company.

She chose to “go it alone” and have her son, Milo, with IVF after getting blood tests showing her eggs were dying.

Ms Thomson said the common narrative that starting a family could stop you being successful was “a load of crap”, adding: “Science tells us that we struggle to motivate ourselves and that’s why we need rules and structure.

“But I think children are like having a personal trainer – it makes you want to do more. I wouldn’t have done any of this if Milo wasn’t around.”

Ms Thomson said she now had a greater understanding about how men wanting to start a family were affected as much as women.

She added: “Men may not have a biological clock, but they can have an equally hard time dating at this stage in life.

“There are a shed load of men who are ghosted just as much as women. They can have fertility problems, low sperm count, low sex drive, they are dealing with unhappiness. “Surrogacy and adoption are not so easily available. “I realised: this is happening to both sexes.”

The app includes options for LGBT would-be parents and also those interested in “platonic co-parenting” – where parents lead separate lives from the outset.

Ms Thompson said: “Loads of people are so busy they don’t have time for full relationships. While some people want a romantic relationship, others do not.”

She said she had become “sad and worried” about the “celibacy syndrome” – a theory about how people in Japan are losing interest in sex – and that some people were even starting “relationships with AI bots”.

Ms Thomson said: “I do believe in love and I am on the app. But sadly I don’t have so much time any more for dates. Having a child changes how you date.

“When you don’t have much time, you ask yourself if that person is valuable enough to take your time away.

“There’s also an older love language. I used to be about physical things, like touching. But now if you cook my dinner and take my dog for a walk I am in love with you, basically.”

The Reddi app is available on IOS and is free for six months and £12 a month thereafter.