John Gulliver: Not so fast Kowalski!
Private Eye legend, Hilary Lowinger has died aged 79
Friday, 25th August 2023 — By John Gulliver
Ian Hislop, Hilary Lowinger and Richard Ingrams
A PRIVATE Eye legend got a suitably sharp-witted, succinct and at times side-splitingly funny send-off at Golders Green Crematorium.
Hilary Lowinger, who has died aged 79, worked on the front desk of the magazine’s offices in Carlisle Street, Soho, for more than 30 years.
Many of her old colleagues and associates – including founder Richard Ingrams, editor Ian Hislop and the comedian Harry Enfield – packed into Hoop Lane’s west chapel last Tuesday.
Hilary’s daughter Harriett said: “Let’s remember mum as she was: thoughtful, strong, generous, funny, speeding through Highgate swearing like a trooper – obviously with the right of way – helping us to get through life without being too precious and sentimental.”
She described her mother as “easily bored and not afraid to let you know” and that the service would be brief as “her worst nightmare was sitting through a boring speech”, adding: “She brought us up to try and be funny and not to bore anyone.”
Harry Enfield with Hilary’s brother Howard Hannah and niece Emily
She recalled her mother’s shriek of laughter as jokes were spilled at family meals on the weekends, adding: “She would holler at increasing intervals as the joke got funnier and funnier – then another joke would be layered and the whole room would be crying with laughter.
“She surrounded herself with unusual work friends, who were perhaps some of the funniest and cleverest people in the world.”
She added: “I’m going to finish up with one of mum’s favourite phrases – it’s a bit brutal – about a platoon sergeant having to tactfully tell one of his platoon, Sgt Kowalski, that his mother has just died, as sensitively as possible.
“He says, ‘All those with mothers who are still alive please step forward … Not so fast Kowalski!’”
Ms Lowinger, who lived in Belsize Park, Hampstead and, for most of her life, Highgate, was born in Calcutta, India.
Her family moved to Dar Es Salaam, east Africa, before she was sent to boarding school in Carlisle, where her father was originally from.
She got the job at the Eye in 1984, but before that had worked in the Charlie Ratchford Centre in Chalk Farm and Athlone House in Highgate.
She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s around 10 years ago and the last decade had been a difficult period for all concerned, the funeral heard.
“Everyone would be glad she is no longer suffering,” said the journalist Rowan Pelling, who worked at the Eye with Hilary in the early 1990s, learning under her tutelage how to “discern phone calls from the people with stories to the many nutters, sifting through cartoons to send to Ian Hislop”.
“Peter Cook used to come in and have a kip on the sofa, knowing Hil would keep the world from him,” she said, adding that she thought of Hil as a “naughty aunty” full of gossip but with a “reliable assessment of every hack and politician in the business”.
‘She surrounded herself with perhaps some of the funniest and cleverest people in the world’
The service heard about Hilary’s command of swearing, the “expletive undeleted”, particularly while driving.
Her brother Howard Hannah – the New Journal’s own Review and Letters editor – recalled: “Up the Holloway Road, she would have the window rolled down ‘what the bleeping bleep do you think you are doing?’ ‘Have you got a small bleep?’
“She was yelling at this man. Not only saying things about him, but she was saying things about his mother. His entire family. They were indulged in the most unpleasant practices. With domestic animals.
“She cast her net so wide, that some of it was bound to be true.”
But he added: “She was in fact the kindest, most genuine person I have ever known. She always wanted to be inclusive of people…”
He joked that one of the “burdens” of his life had been people repeatedly telling him how “lovely” his sister was, reflecting: “Lovely is a word that could easily extend to foul language, and violations of the Highway Code – all kinds of bad behaviour.
“Lovely is a big word. It can cover all that.
“Ladies and gentlemen the results are in: Hilary throughout her life as a child and teenager, mother, grandmother – wherever she was in Calcutta, Dar es Salaam, Carlisle, Crouch End – even on the Holloway Road – particularly on the Holloway Road – she was at all times absolutely f***ing marvellous.”
“F***ing brilliant”, the celebrant added, before the coffin left to I Could Have Danced All Night from My Fair Lady.
She is survived by her children Boris and Harriett, grandchildren Noah, Otto and Coco and her partner Brian Block.