Sofia Yelistarkhova left Berdyansk after the Russian invasion

HUNDREDS of households in Camden have offered a spare bed to Ukrainian refugees fleeing Russian bombs.

But even with the welcome of blue and yellow flags draped over living room windows, settling into a completely new city – after experiencing so much trauma – will always be a daunting prospect.

The New Journal spoke to Sofia Yelistarkhova about the reality of making new friends in London as a young woman who left Ukraine after the Russian invasion.

The 20-year-old is from the now-occupied seaside city of Berdyansk, which is 85km from Mariupol.

Her family lived in an apartment on the 8th floor where they could see their city from all directions.

When war began, everyone turned off the lights at night.

“On the fifth day of war we looked outside. It was a black hole. You couldn’t see anything. Then suddenly there were about 100 tanks and cars of Russians,” she said.

“They were just everywhere. It was kind of scary.”

Since May 20, Ms Yelistarkhova has been living with a 69-year-old woman called Michele in Belsize Park.

She said she had developed friendships with her host’s three children, and describes living there as being in a “big community” which is “very helpful”.

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She’s positive she will meet more people, but added “for now, I don’t have a lot of other friends besides them”.

After searching for a job for a month, she is starting a part-time internship at a digital marketing agency on Monday.

Most of her free time involves finding things to do – sports, online courses, dance classes.

“I go to Base Dance Studios in Vauxhall twice a week, but I haven’t made any friends yet,” she said.

“It’s hard because everyone arrives a minute before the class starts and then we’re dancing so we don’t have time to speak or get to know people.”

Catching up with friends from back home over Instagram and Telegram also helps keep loneliness at bay.

But with her mates now relocated across the world – Canada, Germany, Spain, Poland, Croatia – she’s a “little worried” about how the quality of those friendships will last.

She added “at the moment everyone is just saying ‘oh now we have lots of places to go on holiday together’. I hope it’s going to be ok.”

There are other Ukrainians in Camden, though Ms Yelistarkhova says she has mainly met older women with children, rather than young people who came to the borough alone like her.

At the start of June, she went to a meet-up at St Martin’s Church in Gospel Oak with other Ukrainians.

“We were at very different stages, so there wasn’t a bridge between us,” she said.“They were trying to settle not just themselves but their children too, whereas I’m just responsible for myself.”

Being able to communicate with local people has been instrumental in combating loneliness.

Ms Yelistarkhova is grateful she taught herself English after finishing school, rather than going to university.

She believes it was fate preparing her for this unexpected stage of her life.

“I met some Ukrainians here who don’t speak the language and they must feel more lonely,” she added.

“I couldn’t even imagine moving here without knowing English. Not having people around you speaking a language you understand is very, very lonely.”

Last week, Ms Yelistarkhova met her first new friend at a bakery in Covent Garden, who she met on the mobile phone app, Bumble.

“My friend in Ukraine made friends through online apps so I was like ok, maybe there are normal people on them,” she said.
First she tried Tinder and Badoo, which is popular in Ukraine.

“It was a very bad decision,” she said, adding most of the people she encountered were looking for a hook-up rather than a hangout.

One person suggested she try the friendship setting on dating app Bumble and there she made progress.

“I keep seeing a lot of women from Hong Kong on it,” she said.

“I guess because there’s some political problem there and everyone is emigrating. Maybe they feel the same way as me because they’ve also left their hometowns.”

Ms Yelistarkhova added: “And there are also a lot of people who moved to London for university, so I guess everyone is feeling kind of lonely in London.”