NO tears for Newcastle United’s hasty exit from European football. Overwhelmed by the big guns, they have finished last in their group. We thought that their Saudi-sponsored transformation would be what made them unlikeable, but don’t forget Bruno Guimarães seeing the red mist and trying to knock Jorginho out this season. They once had so many admirers for their gung ho attacking football – those Keegan days! – but it’s hard to come up with one credible reason to admire them now.

• IT was a cold night in Luton last week and I must admit I didn’t get further than the station, the Wetherspoons (don’t worry I only used the toilet), the stadium and then back to the station. So I am in no position to verify the accuracy of a chant from the Arsenal fans who sang: ‘I wanna go home, Luton’s a ****hole, I wanna go home.’ The smart comeback from the home fans was: ‘You only live around the corner…’ It’s true enough, how many Arsenal fans have been priced out of Islington over the last 20 years?

• One of the Luton players on the pitch against Arsenal was a chap with the name ‘Townsend Sr’ on the back of his shirt. You can’t fault a man’s sentimentality towards their child. So smitten from day one, Andros couldn’t think of a new name and so called the boy Andros too. That said the little lad is only four years old and not on Luton’s books, so there is unlikely to be much confusion.

Each to their own. Townsend is an entertainingly curious character. He was once really stung by Paul Merson’s TV waffles about how he didn’t think he was good enough to play for England. But he was picked – alongside Ryan Mason – and scored one of his long range shots. Every now and then one of the 50 attempts goes in. Straight after the game he tweeted Merson to get his own back and told interviewers: “As soon as the goal went in, I was just desperate to get that tweet out.”

Here was a man who had reached what probably turned out to be the apex of his career and all he could think about was tweeting Merson. The game was still not over, but all he could think about, by his own admission, was tweeting Merson. Must tweet Merson. Must tweet Merson. In the end, Merson was probably right.

• CONGRATULATIONS to the Netherlands, which has come up with a new eight Euro banknote with Dennis Bergkamp’s face on it. Much better than Dickens, you have to agree. We loved Vieira, Pires and Henry, but don’t ever forget what Bergy did in this part of London.