Ross Raisin, author of A Hunger [Stephen Garnett]

FORMER Finsbury Park man, award-winning writer Ross Raisin, spoke out this week about the desperate need for help for carers struggling to cope with loved ones suffering from dementia.

Ross said he hoped his new novel, A Hunger, would help throw a spotlight on the issue that is causing so much anxiety and crippling money problems.

His novel creates a highly stressful and yet not uncommon scenario, where a wife, Anita, in her mid-50s, has to work all hours as well as care for her beloved bedbound husband, who suffers from a disease that causes serious mental decline.

Anita is a former teacher turned sous chef struggling to pay for limited care for her husband Patrick, who she’s been married to for 30 years, and who has early vascular dementia after two strokes.

Like Anita, Ross once worked in catering. Almost 20 years ago, before he took up writing, he was employed by Smiths of Smithfields near Farringdon, a four-storey rooftop restaurant founded by TV chef John Torode. Back in 2017 this newspaper acclaimed his previous book, A Natural, about an ace footballer who is scared to admit publically that he’s gay.

In this brilliantly written new book, husband Patrick is a controlling figure in the early stages of his illness when he starts waking up in the middle of the night, not knowing where he is and shouting about dentists.

Being ill does not stop Patrick laying down the law with a list of dos and don’ts for wife. She is told not to bring him a cup of tea unless he asks for one, there are to be no visitors, and when it comes to food – definitely, no carrots!

Holding Patrick on his feet and helping him walk from bedroom to bathroom is like a “pilgrimage” for Anita, Ross writes. One moment she’s pulling off her husband’s filthy sheets for washing, the next she’s thinking about tonight’s menu at the restaurant.

When did she begin to notice the change in him? The first night-time screaming fit? Or was it with the slow withdrawal of touch between them? And what is touch turning into now? Gloves, sprays and wet-wipes.

Is that why their grown-up children Emily and Matthew appear reluctant to visit?

On rare days Patrick gets up, dresses, and goes out with Anita to a local café. But these are difficult times. They meet near neighbours who are aware of, but seem embarrassed by, his plight. They don’t appear to want to hang around talking. The neighbours make an excuse to leave. Ross writes: “His (Patrick’s) lips are tremoring with the effort to form what he wants to say, the word he is trying to find. ‘Wankers.’”

Eventually poor Anita realises she can no longer cope. Patrick will need a “parcelforce” of care if he’s to stay with her in their house rather than enter a home, which they may not be able to afford. It’s all going to cost. They have savings and Patrick has a teacher’s pension. She has job in a posh restaurant in the West End but her husband is beginning to struggle with everyday activities and very shortly their house will need adapting.

One day a woman careworker arrives late and spends just 18 minutes with Patrick, who is still in bed. She offers to wash him but he refuses so she helps him get dressed.

Anita asks her to cut Patrick’s nails but she refuses because it’s not in the care package. Anita remarks that Patrick is not getting the care that she is having to paying for. The care woman disagrees. “He is getting the care that I’m paid for,” she replies.

Later their daughter arrives and Anita explains the difficulties of providing help when everything is in Patrick’s name. It’s something that we the reader should also be aware of.

Anita says: “This is his house, legally. The deeds are under his name, our savings are under his name, everything is under his name and he never granted me power of attorney to make those decisions for him while he had the capacity to.”

Emily is obviously upset and argues her dad does have mental capacity. “I had a conversation with him this morning. He was telling me about when we bought the television.” But Anita adds: “He has his good days, yes. Sometimes he starts talking, out of nowhere, then the next minute he’s gone again.”

Speaking to Review, Ross said: “The number of people in the UK living with dementia is growing exponentially. The cost of social care for people with dementia is likely to treble over the next 20 years. Currently, most of the cost of dementia care is paid for by sufferers and their loved ones. The diluted social care reform coming in this year is not going to cut it. We need a radical and workable plan, from a workable government, without which the burden of this care is going to become even more crippling than it is already.”

The book also deals with Anita as a child and her difficult mum. Then there’s the other life at the restaurant where she works.

Ross lived near Blackstock Road for 10 years and has now returned to his place of birth in Yorkshire. Does he miss the area? Yes, he misses the Turkish restaurants, the DIY shop and stationers and the naan bread.

“In fact, if there was one single thing that almost kept me and my family in London, it was the naan bread shop.”

Ross is also a campaigner for better wages for restaurant waiters.

He said: “There is currently a bill passing through parliament – the Allocation of Tips bill – which should in theory mean that all tips and service charge will be paid to workers in full.”

• A Hunger. By Ross Raisin, Jonathon Cape, £16.99