Ruth Gorb

AN unquenchable curiosity combined with a sharp intellect meant Ruth Gorb was particularly suited to her craft.

The writer, who penned a must-read column in the Ham & High for decades and then became a much-admired contributor to the New Journal, died last week aged 89.

Her writing was full of insight and personality, with just the right mix of intellectual gravitas and an unpretentious, accessible touch.

North London’s literati respected her work, considered her a friend, and sought her stamp of approval in print for any new book.

Born in Muswell Hill in 1933, Ruth’s father Ike Laski had travelled to the UK as a refugee from Odessa. Although well-read, musical and speaking many languages, he learned the opportunities for newly arrived Jewish refugees meant the door to academia was not open to him.

Instead, he became a businessman. Ruth’s mother, Faye, was from the East End.

When war broke out, Ruth and Faye travelled to America – but the absence was hard to take and they returned home at the height of the battle for the Atlantic.

The danger from German U-Boats was very real – and for Ruth and Faye it was made worse when their ship lost its Royal Navy convoy.

Ruth shone at school and won a place at the University of London to read English.

But her time as an undergraduate ended without her taking a degree – because her life-long love, Peter Gorb, appeared in her final year.

Peter’s charms – he had studied at Cambridge and Harvard, served for four years in India and was described as “dishy” – swept Ruth off her feet and she spent time punting with him on the River Cam instead of studying.

Her father was furious, and later Ruth would admit she too regretted not sitting her finals.

The couple married in 1958 and moved from a flat in Oakhill Avenue, Hampstead, to Wales, where Peter’s father ran a textile firm. Ruth’s natural charm and empathy meant she made friends, and it was during this time she first worked as a journalist.

The family returned to Hampstead in 1963 when Peter, an industrial designer, was offered a job at Burtons.

They bought a rundown house in Redington Road that became the family home for the next six decades. Full of books, it had a well-tended garden that Ruth poured time and effort into.

She had collections on gardening and cookery among thousands of other titles that showed an entrenched interest in female novelists.

As her children Adam and Simon went to secondary school, Ruth started at the Ham & High.

Ruth’s career began after she became a mother – a trajectory that was not considered usual for her generation, with women expected to have a career first, if at all, before raising a family.

Ruth was a staunch feminist and recognised the appalling sexism so many of her generation had to endure.

She loved cooking and her handwritten recipes were faxed to relatives. Food was more than sustenance – it was a way of expressing kindness.

Yet for all her ability to lay on a good spread, there was more to entertaining.

She told her granddaughter, Juliette: “Food and drink is not the most important thing – clothes and conversation are!”

It will be no surprise – Ruth was chic. Her favourite colours were shades of green and she loved well-made clothes.

She was fluent in French and the family holidayed in the south of France. Ruth read in the language too.

Other special places were Boston and Martha’s Vineyard, but she was a north Londoner at heart.

Strolling over Hampstead Heath or eating a meal at Cosmos in Finchley Road, she had a strong connection to the area. Ruth was good at friendship. Her empathy shone in her columns, book reviews and features.

She had the ability to make her subjects feel they could trust her with their stories.

This inquisitiveness allied with sympathy made her the ideal writer – and it carried over into her daily life.

She listened intently and made others relax by asking the right questions at the right time.

Ruth’s funeral is to be held on March 17 at 3pm, at the Golders Green Crematorium, Hoop Lane. All welcome.